Thursday, November 7, 2013


Please pray for me.

I've been through hell. I'm sucking down decaf coffee in Republic of Pie so I don't end up staying up all night. I haven't been able to sleep in a week. In the last 3 days my roommate assaulted me and we called the cops on each other, I totaled my car, and it's likely being crushed tomorrow, and I lost the greatest love of my life. To top it off I was so dazed thinking about all this as I walked to the gym, that I was almost hit by several cars wandering into rush hour traffic. A week ago I was the happiest I've ever been, only freaking out about flying to Brazil and e-baying toys. My home, my car, my heart, and almost my life were all taken from me, and It's only Thursday. Saturday I fight for my home, which now I kind of want to leave now and start over, all things considered. I honestly can't remember feeling this horrible in my whole life. And most of it was brought on by me (not the cops though... I defended myself). I don't know why I did this to myself. I know I will be happy again. I've been praying, and things will change, but you know, for better or worse, you get exactly what you deserve. I have some saved up good karma I really need to cash in. Fernando is the best friend of best friends. Nick asked me to stay close and Fernando hasn't left my side. To be able to see blessings in all this chaos is a miracle. I truly believe Nick's bent, not broken. His heart is much too big and much too powerful. I just miss is my cookie so much, Jesus. :( I will work hard and be patient and God will sort it out. My whole life has turned upside down.

Thanksgiving is a blessing, but I really need a Christmas miracle. Help me, Jesus. Please.

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